The 8 Guys You See in Every City
1. The Beer Lover
This guy seems to know every local beer and its perfect pair with food, which he'll explain to you in-depth. He’s all about what's in season, and he’ll drink the same summer ale until he develops an allergy. He knows the origins and histories of every local brew. He is "best friends" with the bartender at the pub down the street. He always brings beer to the party – for himself.
2. The Dog Guy
There are two types of dog guys: the big guy with a little dog and the little guy with a big dog. One lifts 200-plus pounds in the gym, runs off of protein shakes and 12-ounce steaks, and has an Achilles heel for his girlfriend's diva Chihuahua. The second guy is always being walked by his dog, as opposed to the other way around.
3. The Coffee Shop Guy
Every time you go to your favorite local coffee shop to work and the Wi-Fi has been shut off, it's because guys like him have been camped out for six-plus hours. You feel like a stalker because every coffee shop you've been to in the city in the last six months he's been there. He either has a second job just to fund his consecutive latte orders, or he drinks black coffee like water because large refills are only 50 cents. He's probably a "freelancer" and this is his version of working from the office.
4. The Cool Car Guy
True story: You’re inside waiting on him, thinking it’s just taking him 15 minutes to double park his baby safely, but he goes to another bar without telling you because he couldn’t find two spots next to each other at the good bar to safely park his GT-R.
5. The “Is He a Rock Star” Guy
His messy-hair look is really the result of his not showering daily – because shampoo is a luxury expense when all of his finances need to be pouring into his "solo project." He is sewn to his leather jacket, winter or middle of summer, and you won't find him without it. You take bets on how long it takes him to run into a wall while he's wearing his sunglasses indoors – at night! Like all the stars do.
6. The Exercise Enthusiast
He can only carry a conversation when it's about his eight days a week workout plan, pulling two-a-days, and the latest research about proteins and fats vs. carbs. He got a job as a trainer at his neighborhood gym club since he was there most of the time already. He lives incessantly in his bright colored, sports company logo muscle-showing tank top. These guys who strictly train free-weights at the gym look like you could blow them over – massive shoulders, arms and even abs balanced delicately on a set of chicken legs.
7. The Passionately Proud Guy
His compulsive and over-the-top love for something makes you actually hate it. He's the only one making T-shirts and signs for the company team ping-pong match. Hes the guy who keeps his sports team's merchandise booths running. He buys memorabilia in bulk for stocking-stuffers. His family is the best. His team is the best. His favorite restaurant makes the BEST authentic Italian pizza outside of Italy. You fill in the blanks ... His favorite ___ is THE BEST.
8. The Mustache Man
He buys special mustache wax to keep his ironic French mustache looking pristine at all times. He probably carries a messenger bag. There's also a good chance his hip sunglasses are plastic and may or may not have lenses. The only thing you can ever manage to say to this guy is "cool mustache!"