We went straight to the source and asked our furry friends what is at the top of their list for Santa Paws.
The holidays are upon us. Everywhere we turn — snowmen, trees wrapped in lights, tinsel, candles, the list goes on. But, no matter how you celebrate, you shouldn’t forget to surprise your pet with a little something on their wishlist.
This holiday season, there’s a lot you can do to make your pet’s life a little brighter. Pay close attention to their unique needs, ask their vet about your pet’s health, remember what things make them the happiest, and if you’re not sure, try looking up what your kind of animal likes and needs.
Our pets are just as much family as anyone else and would love nothing more than to be treated as such. So give them a holiday they’ll remember forever.
Because I have a pet who has been dropping some less-than-subtle gift hints, I decided it might be a good idea to interview pets and see what sorts of things are hot this year. I wasn’t disappointed. The following are transcripts of conversations with pets of all kinds.
Up first is my dog, Fern.
Fern is a year-and-a-half-year-old mini Cavapoo.
DC: Hi, Fern.
Fern: Hi, dad.
DC: This is the interview I told you about last week, the one I asked you to prepare for. I’m going to ask you about how you feel about our upcoming Christmas trip and what you might wish to find under that tree.
Fern: Uhm… I think so.
DC: …what do you mean you think so?
Fern: I think I remember you telling me about this. I can’t really remember.
DC: Alright, we’ll just be off the cuff then; sound good?
Fern: Okay, dad.
DC: Perfect. So, we’re going to be flying again this year for Christmas. So, this will technically be your third time on a plane. Are you nervous?
Fern: I don’t remember the first time. But last time was fine. It was loud. And those airport bathrooms were really stinky. But I’m excited to run around and get pets n’ treats n’ stuff.
DC: Anything on your wishlist you want to share with the good people of the world wide web?
Fern: Well, treats for one.
DC: Is… is that it? Is there a two?
Fern: I’m so glad you asked. Maybe another toy. I really like the toys that you put treats in. So, treat toys for two. Oh, and socks. Preferably used, please. Still warm would be bees-gees.
DC: I think you mean bee’s knees, and you can have my socks anytime you want.
Fern: Oh, and those speech buttons that all those Tik-Tok dogs have.
DC: How about an automatic dog feeder and water bowl for when your mom and I are out working?
Fern: Or that. That sounds good, too. Oh! Oh! And more sweaters.
DC: Really? Do you like your sweaters?
Fern: Oh yeah. I’m small, and it’s chilly where we live, and I just love looking my very best for all the other boy pups in the building. I think Gizmo liked my Halloween pumpkin costume.
DC: You do look great in your sweaters. I’ll talk to mom about it, and you can pick out your favorite ones from across the street, yeah?
Fern: Yes, please! Yes, yes, yes, please!
DC: Great! We’ll do that this weekend. Love you, Fern; thanks for talking with me.
Fern: Thanks, dad. Can we go for a walk now?
Hester is a senior pet hamster.
DC: Hey, Hester.
Hester: Good morning.
DC: Hester, you’ve seen your fair share of winters come and go, and I have to know — at this age, what does a hamster look for in the perfect gift?
Hester: Honestly, Dmytryk, for me, it’s all about trying to get the most out of my twilight years, and the only other thing as important to me as a good diet is a social life. You’d be surprised how hard it is for a hamster to meet up with friends. Forgive the pun, sometimes I feel like I might go nuts.
DC: Forgive my ignorance; I had no idea hamsters were so social.
Hester: It’s pretty normal to think that. My humans have done a marvelous job giving me top-notch nutrition and such — nobody would ever accuse me of skipping a lunch — but what I wouldn’t give for some travel days. Then, of course, some company would be the cherry on top.
DC: What does your wishlist look like this year?
Hester: Definitely tunnels. I’ve seen younger hamsters with towers and tubes that seem to stretch for miles. I think I deserve that.
DC: I would have to agree with you, Hester. And how about some play dates?
Hester: It would make my year to have some other little hamsters to wrestle and tunnel with, yes.
DC: I’ll be your friend, Hester.
Hester: That’s nice, dear. I’ll see you some other time, alright?
DC: Oh. Okay. Well, goodbye then, Hes.
Hester: It’s Hester. Please.
DC: Yes. Quite. Apologies.
Franz is a six-year-old tabby cat.
DC: How are you, Franz?
DC: Are you ready to answer some of my questions about your Hanukkah gift list?
DC: Great. First, what are some of your family’s holiday traditions you look forward to the most?
Franz: When the two leggers clean my litter box. I love to watch from the doorway.
DC: Okay. Any other holiday traditions you like?
Franz: The food is nice.
DC: You have a favorite dish?
Franz: I’m fond of Aunt Margie’s tuna casserole. It seems as if I’m the only fan of it. But every year, she makes it, and they don’t eat it, and every year I get scoops and chilly remains.
DC: We call them leftovers.
Franz: I call them remains.
DC: Is anything special on your gift wish list this year?
Franz: Yes. I want the two leggers to know that I desire a new litter. My current one is disgusting.
DC: Sounds like you know exactly what you want. You must be great to shop for.
DC: What about nip? Is that on your list this year?
Franz: I’m… No. It’s not. I’m trying to go cold turkey on the stuff. So I’d rather not get into it.
DC: I see. Thanks for speaking with me, Franz.
Richard Hawkins McDowell Abernathy III
Richard “Dick” is a seven-year-old golden retriever.
DC: Hey there, Dick; how are ya?
Richard: Swell, bud, how’re you?
DC: I’m doing wonderfully.
Richard: That’s great to hear! Hey, you got any bacon?
DC: Of course, Dick, I wouldn’t come to see you without some.
Richard: So, you came to ask some stuff about toys or somethin’?
DC: Yes, well, sort of. I came to interview you about your holiday wishlist.
Richard: Oh boy. I got lots on my list. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Where do I begin?
DC: How about with what you got last year that you liked?
Richard: My mom got me a boogie board so I could join her out on the water. It was loads of fun! Have you ever gone boogie boarding?
DC: Not since I was a kid.
Richard: Oh man, we gotta go! You’d love it. You’d be so good at it.
DC: I’m not so sure. I’m not the most coordinated person.
Richard: You should try it on all fours, my dude, I don’t know why you humans have to make it so hard for yourselves. Also, I got a new batch of bandies that I totally dig, man. They look incredible and really bring out my eyes.
Richard: Bandanas! Cool patterns n’ stuff. I’m wearin’ one right now, look. See? Isn’t that the coolest?
DC: I like it! Anything you want this year?
Richard: Yeah, man. You ever heard of these magic pet boxes that the mail dude brings?
DC: Yes. Do you mean like Chewy or Bark Box?
Richard: You know them!
DC: Yes, I hear they’re convenient for pet owners.
Richard: Sure, man, I just know some cool stuff comes out of those boxes. It’s like Mary Poppins’ magic bag, except it gives pets treasures instead of entertaining little British kids.
DC: That sounds like it would be a great gift. I’ll let Santa know.
DC: Nevermind. I’ll get your wish list into the right hands.
Richard: You’re the best, man.
DC: Thanks, Dick. You’re pretty cool yourself.
Richard: Come on, gimme paw… there we go. Hey…
DC: I got the last piece right here, buddy.
Richard: God, I love bacon.