6 Simple Ways to Build Community Right Now
It doesn’t feel like an overstatement to say most people crave community right now. We live in an era of acute political division, and the chaos and uncertainty on the national stage can feel all-consuming. What are we to do when so much is out of our control? Root into our day-to-day lives with the people around us, and learn to take better care of each other.
When we talk about the benefits of community, we’re not just talking about neighborhood potlucks. Strong social ties help us live longer, and research shows one of the best indicators of resilience during and after a natural disaster is community connectedness. This stuff really matters.
When people think about building community, they often jump right to “I have to organize a huge block party” or “I need to take the lead on mobilizing my neighborhood politically,” and hey, if those things fire you up, go for it. But the real work of community-building is much simpler. It is often comprised of small, interpersonal moments. It often feels slightly awkward and uncomfortable. (We are unlearning toxic individualism and hyper-independence, folks! These patterns take effort to break through.)
Here are a few simple ways to get started.
In This Article
1. Get numbers. Give numbers.
“Hey, let’s exchange contact info” is the least glamorous and most effective sentence in all of community-building. Get in the habit of collecting contact info casually and often. Stop to chat briefly with that neighbor you always see walking their dog? Say “Do you mind if we exchange contact info in case we ever need to get in touch?” Run into someone from down the street at the grocery store? Take that smile and wave in the produce section one step further and offer your name and number. Having a way to contact your neighbors when you need to is integral.
2. Say “yes.”
Entire movies have been made about the life-changing act of saying yes to EVERYTHING. I’d like to propose a much smaller scale version that can really change how you experience your current community: challenge yourself to accept every favor offered to you for the next month. From a neighbor watering your plants while you’re out of town to a friend lending you a book they think you’ll enjoy, there’s a good chance there’s more support around you right now than you realize. Many of us have gotten into the routine of saying “no thanks” because we’re used to being independent or don’t want to put someone out. What happens when you change that?
3. Ask for help.
Once you’ve gotten comfortable saying “yes” to help that’s offered to you, the next step is learning to ask for help. If you’re anything like me (fiercely independent oldest daughters where you at?!), you know that asking for help can be extremely vulnerable and uncomfortable. I’m here to tell you: the way out is through. If you want to be part of a reciprocal community, you have to push past discomfort and retrain yourself to not do everything on your own just because you can (also, spoiler alert: no one can).
When this feels hard, I think about how good it feels to help someone else. A friend of mine often reminds me that asking for help means you’re giving someone else the chance to feel that good, too.
4. Offer to help.
Deep exhale because I have good news: you also GET to offer help to your neighbors. It can be empowering and clarifying to figure out what kind of help you have to offer: specific skills or tasks that you actually like doing that can lighten the loads of those around you. A secret about me? I genuinely enjoy driving people to the airport. I have a neighbor who’s a retired plumber and helps the rest of us winter-proof our pipes. A friend of mine loves helping people place and hang art.
Every community has a need for lots of different kinds of help. Whatever you have to offer is valuable and needed. Figure out your favorite ways to be of service, and offer it often and enthusiastically.
5. Pause before paying.
“Pause before paying” is an unofficial motto I’ve adopted that helps nudge me toward leaning into my community instead of paying for convenience. For example, if I need a tool to fix something around my house, I could easily order one on Amazon and solve my problem with some money and a “buy now” button. Or I could pause before paying for a new tool I’ll probably use once, and ask a neighbor if they have one I can borrow instead. In doing this, I create an opportunity to connect with my neighbor, make use of a shared resource, save money, and lessen my impact on the planet. Win-win-win-win, right?
A couple months ago when my car was in the shop, I paused before paying for an Uber to go pick it up and asked my retired neighbor if she would mind giving me a ride. She was more than happy to do it and we got to know each other better during that 10-minute car ride. There’s a different level of warmth between us now. Pause before paying and see what happens.
6. Use crisis moments as a blueprint.
From severe weather events to a broken water main down the street, a crisis – even a small one – can show us the natural flow of communication, information, and resources. Who stepped up as a leader? Where did everyone gather? Who called who? Observing the way your community took care of each other during a stressful time can create a low-effort blueprint for how to handle things next time. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel; you can simply solidify a phone tree structure that has already proven itself.